Beers I have hated

There have only been three beers in my life that were SO bad, I was actually offended.

One was Magic Hat #9. Tasted like hobo piss.

Another was Purple Haze Wheat Beer. Undrinkable.

Another was some Italian beer that I had at the Capital City Carnival. I was pretty damn drunk by the time I had this one, so I couldn't tell you exactly why I didn't like it, or even what it was called. But it was pretty nasty.

And now, I have discovered a new contender for Worst Beer Ever.

It is Legacy Brewing Co.'s Midnight Wit.

It is described on the label as a "Belgian-Style beverage with a medium body and citrus overtones. Silky, creamy, and refreshingly delightful, Midnight Wit is the essence of pure pleasure."

At the bottom it says "Ale brewed with spices." Everything about that sentence appealed to me.

And now, I will digress here and talk a little bit about composting.

For the true novices, composting is the act of taking vegetable and fruit scraps, coffee grounds, eggshells, newspapers, dryer lint and placing it in a bucket with some water with the purpose of letting it sit out in the sun and allow it to "cook." After the vegetable and fruit matter rot and breakdown, it becomes a lovely additive to one's vegetable garden.

Why the digression? Because Midnight Wit tastes like rotted vegetable compost. That's been urinated on by hobos.

Before even taking a taste of Midnight Wit, the smell hits you and immediately invokes a gagging reaction. When you taste it, its like someone has made a beer out of lemon-scented Pledge or lemon-scented Ant & Cockroach Raid. It is horrifying in every way imaginable.

You can read other reviews of this beer here. Keep in mind, most of these people must be frakkin' insane. Someone describes it as "medicinal" and that is indeed only nice thing I could say about it.

Who should buy this?

1) Those who hate life and all that is good in the world.
2) Curiosity seekers and daredevil types.
3) Those who may want to gauge their tastebuds against mine.

Please keep in mind however-those who venture into the world of Midnight Wit and return claiming a liking for it are, forever and always, dead to me.

Sounds like an alcoholic banana split

The Boston Herald calls it a Koala Bear...

1 oz. dark Creme de Cacao

1 oz. banana liqueur

2 scoops vanilla ice cream

Blend everything until smooth. Sprinkle nutmeg on top, if desired.

Carolina Beers Pt 1

I understand that this post is supposed to concern libations related to the mid-Atlantic, but I am stuck in Charlotte and bored outta my mind so you will have to deal.

On my first day in Charlotte, my boss and I stopped by a pizzeria and asked one of the locals at the bar what the best regional beer was. He smiled and proudly shouted "Budweiser!" I died a little on the inside.

But fortunately, I continued to seek out regional beers and here is what I found:

At first, I thought the best I could do was Rock Bottom Brewery Charlotte. As my brother-in-law and fellow blogger mentioned, Rock Bottom is a chain but allows its brewers to match their fare to regional tastes. Keeping this in mind, I selected the beer sample and set about my tasting journey.

Souther Flyer Light Lager: Described as a light beer and a "true-American lager." Not much to say here-was pretty tasteless. Seemed like compensation for those who would usually order a Bud.

Prospector's Pilsner: Described as a "German-style pilsner". (Now somebody correct me please, but isn't that a bit redundant?) Anyhow, wasn't bad, kinda nondescript.

Randoloh's Ride Red Ale: Described as a "malty flavor from British Crystal malt with the distinct citrus flavor of Cascade hops." All I recorded was that it was not too sweet and not too bitter. Don't quite remember what that meant.

Stingin' Brits I.P.A. : Now, to understand how remarkable this next beer is, you have to understand that historically I have disliked 95% of the I.P.A.s I have tried. Yet, out of the 7 beers I tried, this was my favorite. It was a "copper-colored ale," which I found odd, since most of the I.P.A. 's I have tried have been very light in color. They use Fuggle hops and it was quite enjoyable.

Sweet Magnolia Brown Ale: This was the beer I expected to like the most-I tend to like brown ales and this particular ale had apparently won the 1998 Great American Beer Festival. Yet I found it fairly nondescript. Ok, but not special

Iron Horse Stout: Again, take note that a stout is my least favorite type of beer. I don't dislike them, but it would be my last choice. In fact, I would rather have an I.P.A. over a stout any day. This particular stout has won the Gold and Silver medal in the Sweet Stout category of the World Beer Cup Competition but still I did not expect to like it. It is actually one of my favorite stouts ever. It was not at all bitter, which is one of the major beefs I have with stout. It has the slightest hint of chocolate but was not overly sweet. I found it to be very drinkable and could have even ordered another, which is rare for me and stouts.

Seasonal: Unfortunately, I did not get the full name of Rock Bottom Charlotte's seasonal, but I do know that it was an Irish Red. It was one of the best Irish Reds I have ever had. It had a delightful spicy-caramel-ly-floral flavor and was lovely. Definitely the best of the bunch.

Side note: I got a salad and it really sucked. Barely edible. Most of the yummy part of the meal was beer-related.

Sam Adams getting out in front of any bad news announces voluntary product recall

We have announced a cautious, voluntary product recall of some bottles of Samuel Adams. While there is no problem with our beer, we believe a small proportion of bottles from our outside glass supplier could contain some small bits of glass.

The bottles we've identified as being possibly affected are from one glass plant of the five that we get our bottles from. The issue affects less than 25% of our bottled beer and of that amount, we believe far less than 1% of the bottles we're recalling are actually affected. We have no reports of any injury from our drinkers related to this issue. But because the safety of our drinkers is of paramount concern to us, we are being cautious and issuing the recall for all bottles from this glass plant.

But not to worry, this doesn't mean that you have to stop drinking Samuel Adams! All draft beer is perfectly fine and most of our bottled beer is not in these possibly affected bottles. It's easy to spot the bottles we're recalling: they are all embossed to say "N35" at the base of the bottle below the label (see photo on web site). We are working with our wholesalers and retailers to ensure that the affected bottles are removed from stores quickly.

We wanted to be sure that our loyal Sam fans are aware of the problem and know that we are doing everything we can to address this situation quickly. We are disappointed that because of these bottles supplied to us, we didn't live up to your expectations as a loyal Sam Adams drinker. We believe that we are taking all the right steps to ensure that the bottled Samuel Adams beer out there meets our quality standards and your expectations. If you have any questions about the recall, we created a special web site and a toll-free number 1-888-674-5159 to answer your questions.

Tally Me, Banana Beers

Some of the other contributors of this blog went ape-shit (no pun intended), when I told them about this beer. Personally, I never thought twice about it-if you like banana bread (which I do), why not banana bread beer? My only concern was that it would be too sweet.

As it turns out, it is not sweet at all, and is actually one of the most enjoyable beers I have ever had. It is crisp and refreshing, with a moderate banana (not too banana-y-like my new adjective?) taste (more like a mad monkey scientist took a banana and sucked out all of the sugar to create a race of mutants or something) and a hint of clove. It has a beautiful, clear amber color and perfect carbonation. It is, to me, what many pumpkin ales try to be and end up falling short.

This is definitely a type of beer I would buy again. For someone who tends to hate fruity beers, I can easily imagine myself nursing this on a porch on a hot summer's day. I.e., it's a keeper.

Tequila Old-Fashioned...

...is my new best friend.

It is not a spectacular drink...but it does meet some key requirements. For one, I had all of the ingredients on hand. That's always a good thing. Two, I was too frakkin' tired to care what I was putting in my mouth. That also aids the process.

See, Husband, Two-Year-Old and I went do to Hampton to visit with Husband's father. We were to pick-up Sister-in-Law on the way on what SHOULD be a three-hour drive. I left work at 330PM on Friday, picked up Husband, Two-Year Old, and Sister-in-Law and we headed on on merry way.

We did not pull into Father-in-Law's place until 1130 that night.

Also, that night was spent with Two-Year-Old constantly waking and claiming to having "blanket issues."

Next day was pleasant. Today was the drive back. We left around 1PM and got in around 630PM. Not as bad, but much of that was spent trying to not get lost in DC.

So, what's my point, you ask? I did all of the driving (my choice, I admit it) and I was dead tired. I wanted something other than beer. So I found the recipe for this and, as I mentioned, happened to have all ingredients on hand:

Glass needed: Old-Fashioned (Duh!)

Tequila Old-Fashioned
1/2 tsp. sugar
bitters
1 tsp water

Mix these ingredients together in an Old-Fashioned glass. Then add:

1 1/2 oz tequila
ice
shot of club soda (note: I actually filled to top of glass. I don't have proper Old-Fashioned glasses. Hint, hint to those who know me and buy me presents. I would also like hurricane glasses.)


So, what's the verdict? I veer away from sweet drinks, so this one worked pretty well for me-the sugar took the edge off the tequila, but it wasn't sweet at all. The club soda definitely lightened the drink. I could have used more citrus in it and, should I make it again, would add a squeeze of lime for kicks. It would be a nice go-to drink after a really rough day of work (or driving). Preferably a warm day.

That said, I would not go out of my way to make this drink again-but this one's definitely a keeper if you often end up with a refrigerator bare of any other mixers.

The Holy Grail

I know, I know-this is supposed to be a blog about Mid-Atlantic libations, not Midwest ones.

But I saw this on friggin' Unwrapped (admitted Food Network junkie here) and had to spread the news.

There is a bar in the Hyatt Regency Chicago (on Wacker, not McCormick Place) that serves these:
















That margarita is bigger than her head! I wanna margarita bigger than my head! So my new Grail Quest is to seek out one of these babies. Seriously, it's the size of a baby.

Apparently the beer here is so large that you get your own tap. It's 3x the size of the giraffes at Brewer's Alley. Drool....

I wonder how many hotel patrons have been carted back up to their rooms on those little bell carts after drinking one of these....